How to ride a dead horse

From an email recently sent to me:

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that, “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” However, in government, education, and in corporate America, more advanced strategies are often employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.

2. Changing riders.

3. Appointing a committee to study the dead horse.

4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.

5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.

6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.

7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.

8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.

9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse’s performance.

10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse’s performance.

11. Declaring that as the dead horse – does not have to be fed, – it is less costly, – carries lower overhead and – therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.

12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses. And of course the favorite…. and most prevalent…

13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position

Car Logo Ripoffs from Around the World.

The Chinese have long been known for their ability to duplicate products and technologies in record time and bring them to market faster and more cheaply than any established manufacturer could ever dream. But whereas we may only see the Chinese as the great product knock-off  artists that they are, we often overlook other countries’ abilities when it comes to the fine art of the R&D (Rip-off & Duplicate) as is demonstrated by these fine car logo creations from around the world (but mostly China).

BMW (Bavaria) vs.  BYD (China).

Lamborghini (Italy) vs. Arash (UK)

Mazda (Japan) vs. Haima (China)

Aston Martin (England) vs. Hyundai Genesis (Korea)

Toyota (Japan) vs. Changan(China)

Toyota (Japan) vs. Jincheng, (China)

Toyota(Japan) vs. Xiali (China)

Toyota (Japan) vs. Merry (China)

Infinity (Japan) vs. Chery (China)

Infinity (Japan) vs. Suzhou (China)

Infinity (Japan) vs.  Huaxiang (China)

Mercedes (Germany) vs.  BAW (China)

Oldsmobile (USA) vs. Mahindra (India)

Oldsmobile (USA) vs. First Auto Works (China)

Subaru (Japan) vs. Jiangnan, (China)

Pegaso (Spain) vs. Carlsson (Germany)

Jeep vs. Geep (The Philippines)

NetVibes Digital Life Aggregator

So I discovered NetVibes today. Ok so I didn’t so much discover (as in Christopher Columbus) it, because I’ve known about NetVibes for some time now, but I made the switch from IGoogle(and Google reader) as my DLA/homepage over to NetVibes. NetVibes is a free Digital Life Aggregator, that allows you to organize your entire online life( for the most part) into tabbed pages. Everything from email to blogs to comics and games. Why, might you ask, would such an avid supporter of the googleverse make such a fundamental digital-life change? Well for what I have lost in one click access to all my various google accounts/apps and tools I have gained in recouped time and ease of use. So here are some of the things that made me switch:

Thing number 1: Visual appeal

The flexible layout ie. 2/3/4 column options make visually much easier to canvas all your feeds in a manner that saves time and space. It truly allows you to get all you information at a glance. Plus there’re just more things that can be optimized to better your experience.

Thing number 2: It’s like Google reader and Igoogle smashed into one app.

Netvibes’ layout and navigation is more like igoogle (on steroids), but the functionality and depth of information is more like google reader. Most widgets display up to the last 25 posts from an rss fee, whereas igoogle only allows you a measly 9.

Thing number 3: Sharing stuff

Incidentally, that’s how I first leart of NetVibes, through an invite which included the invitor’s setup for a particular tab. Yes, I was able to, with one click, start using a presetup netvibes page inclusive of cool widgets and feeds already setup by my friend who invited me to test it out. By the way, here’s a link to try net vibes out: http://www.netvibes.com/subscribe.php?preconfig=126efb5c739f8468139e69206b4fe46d

Thing number 4: It’s portable

If one day I decide NetVibes isn’t for me anymore, I can pack up my digital belongings via OPML and move on the the next DLA. Google has been touting the coming of this feature for a long time, but I am yet to see it. Incidentally, had they already done this, it would have made the switch to NetVibes a lot less time consuming.

Thing number 5: Netvibes supports igoogle widgets!

At least so they claim, and we all know how “support” for a 3rd party format can be. Up until writing this posted, I hadn’t tested the feature, but it does exist.

Thing number 6: They’re going social with Netvibes Ginger.

Yes, now it will be a whole lot easier with NetVibes Ginger (now in testing) to share all this wonderful “Funtastimation” that you’ve amassed in all new ways.

So why doesn’t Google just make one even more killer app like Netvibes?

My guess is: 1. They’re working on it and/or 2. The same internal structure which has led to Google’s great success where people take ownership of projects that are their own ideas can sometimes lead to political/bureaucratic slowdowns when it comes time for the company to change direction, shutdown, or merge projects especially if those project leaders have become more influential in the company . and/or 3. We’re so big and have so many things going on right now that this is the least of our issues. Plus, what is a “netvibe” anyways? Who knows. My point is, give Netvibes a chance, you might just like it.

Rf.

Someone, anyone…please explain this sign.

I am thoroughly befuddled and rather disturbed by this sign in a public park.

The 10 Most Expensive Cell Phones in the World

With all the hoopla surrounding the Iphone (and its fluctuating pricetag) one might might be lulled into thinking that the Iphone is the be-all and end-all in the world cell phones. The truth be told though, the Iphone is more like the Corvette of the cellphone industry, relatively expensive to the average consumer, but in the bigger picture, it’s a cheap horsepower contender and drop in the bucket when compared to these high rolling entrants into the world of cellphones. And yes, the top cellphone contender is more expensive than the Mercedes Maybach, the Ferrari Enzo and the Bugatti Veyron!

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10. Prada phone by LG

Price: $780

The Prada phone by LG just narrowly edged my personal favorite, the Gold Striker Gold 24-carat Iphone to make the list. At just 1.2 cm thick, the Prada phone, like the Iphone, has no buttons and is operated solely by way of the touch screen.

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9. Porsche Cellphone by Sagem

Price: $1,600

Designed by Porsche, but engineered and manufactured by France-based Sagem, the Porsche handset is currently available in Britain, Dubai and other oversees markets. The phone is expected to make its U.S. debut in 2008 possible through Porsche Dealerships.

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8. Mobiado Professional EM

Price: $2,200

Made from ebony wood, hard-anodized aluminum and titanium, Nokia driven Mobiado Professional EM handsets are individually unique due to the variations in wood patterning per instrument. It features a 1.3 MP camera, music playback and an FM radio.

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7. Gresso Black Aura Collection

Price: Up to $13,000

Gresso boastfully claims that its Black Aura cellphones are 200 years old – due to the age of the African Blackwood on each phone’s case. Black Aura series ranges from $6,500 to $13,000 with the most expensive featuring an 18-carat gold front panel.

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6. Diamond Iphone

Price: $41,000

The diamond iPhone boasts an impressive 420 diamonds at a total weight of 5.65 carats set in 18K white or yellow gold. It can also be ordered in white, black or pink sapphires. The phone, by UK blingmeister general Amosu, at a blustering $41,000 is sure to not make any “Will it blend” videos anytime soon.

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5.Vertu Signature

Price: Up to $81,000

Vertu, a subsidiary of Nokia, claims that it took expert craftsmen some three years of training to learn to make their phones. This classic, the Vertu Signature, contains 943 diamonds on its bezel and 48 more on its keypad, each set in place by hand in Switzerland.

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4. VIPN Black Diamond Smartphone

Price: $300,000

The creation of Swiss manufacturer VIPN, the titanium construction known as the “Black Diamond” is a one of a kind actually a 1 of 5 to be exact, and for generously shelling out 300,000 big ones, you get a Quadband phone with WiFi and Bluetooth, a 2 inch 256K TFT screen, 4MP camera, VOIP and 2 huge diamonds.

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3. Bucheron for Vertu Cobra

Price: $310,000

Parisian jeweler House of Bucheron linked up with Nokia subsidiary Vertu on this limited-edition series of eight cobra phones, which include a two-carat pear-cut diamond, a one-carat round diamond, two emerald eyes and 439 rubies totaling 21 carats. Vertu phones also link up to a special concierge service with information about travel, entertainment, restaurants and events. Other Vertu phones sell between $4,350 and $81,000.

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2. The Diamond Crypto Smartphone

Price: $1.3 Million

Designed by diamond encruster extraordinaire Peter Aloisson The Diamond Crypto Smartphone is sometimes quoted as the World’s most expensive cell phone (depending on exchange rates). Russian firm JSC Ancort has developed a Windows CE-based smartphone ready for Aloisson’s bejeweling that employs “powerful encryption technology” to “provide secure protection of information against kidnapping, technological blackmail, financial racketeers and corrupted state officials” — sounds like marketing speak for a password-protected wallet app. Of course, with its $1.3 million price tag and 50 diamonds (10 of which are blue) you might start to have more trouble with mugging than with technological blackmail.

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1. The GoldVish Le Million

Price: $1.45 Million

Guinness World Records certifies this GoldVish phone as the most expensive in the world–1 million euros, or about $1.45 million. The odd-shaped device is made out of 18-carat white gold and features 1,800 diamonds totaling 120 carats. A Russian businessman bought Le Million for his wife last September at a luxury goods fair in Cannes, France. Don’t have a spare million for this made-by-request gadget? Geneva-based GoldVish has plenty of expensive phones in its lineup, including models with gold plating and diamond-studded cases.

Rejected Ipod engravings – who knew?

Here’s a great list I stumbled upon on the internet recently. It’s a compilation of rejected Ipod engravings. Yes, even your most personal expressions on the back of your music player are censored by “The Man”. Enjoy.

10,000 Stolen Tunes Inside
Not to be used as a suppository.
When my battery dies, so will you.
Not responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain.
iPod Limited Edition: Retard Compatible
Rip, Mix, & Burn Down RIAA Headquarters
Cocaine and razor blade not included
Lick My Shiny Metal Ass
karma is a bitch
Something small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn’t In.
I play with myself.
Steal this? Will self destruct when used.
Screwing The RIAA One Download At A Time
I cost more per ounce than cocaine.
This iPod will self destruct in 1 year.

Below are some barely legal inscriptions made it on to Ipods but were just as funny and or clever.

Your mamma uses a walkman.
One time at band camp.
49 20 66 75 63 6b 69 6e 67 72 75 6c 65 (translation: I ***** rule in HEX)
I don’t need good taste, I’ve got selection.
Kiss me, I’ve got Irish music.
To all the Chinese children who made my iPod, Thanks!
George Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West
I Don’t Do Windows ~Anonymous
Trapped in iPod factory. Please send help
Me vs. RIAA: Exhibit A
My other iPod is a Millenium Falcon
teal At Your Own Risk. Bomb Installed
Mic0s0f7 5ux a$$
I may be small and white but at least I’ve got a big disk!
Scratch your balls, not my metal.
Who said Apple sucks?
Save water, drink beer and shower together
Now you have two little white pocket rockets.
People will pay more to be entertained than educated.
WARNING: Contains Yanni Box Set
10,000 reasons to ignore my wife
If only women’s buttons were this easy to push.
This iPod makes up for my small hard disk.
Once you go small and white…
98% Liberace-free
Harmful If Swallowed
Dear [insert name], Thanks for the iPod idea. ~Steve Jobs
I’m so trendy look at my white headphones!
Size Does Matter
Musically Disturbed
Weapons of Mass Distraction Inside
Caution: Do not insert product into anus
Contents Under Pressure from RIAA
My other handheld is a PocketPC
CDs are for amish people!
Quarter free jukebox
Why drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly.
I last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who’s the man?
My iPod can beat up your honor roll student
Say hello to my little friend

What is email?

Stumbled across this funny ad from 1977. It is a visual illustration of email.

“Ah the good ol’ days…… When you could smoke at your desk (notice the ashtray) and receive “Electronic Mail” without a computer at your desk…”
– comment on Digg.com

The text says,

Electronic Mail is a term that’s been bandied about data processing circles for years.
Simply out, it means high-speed information transportation. One of the most advanced methods is terminals talking to one another.
Your mailbox is the terminal on your desk. Punch a key and today’s correspondence and messages are displayed instantly.
Need to notify people immediately of a fast-breaking development? Have your messages delivered to their terminal mailboxes electronically, across the hall or around the world.
Electronic Mail is document distribution that’s more timely, accurate and flexible than traditional methods.
There’s no mountain of paperwork.
Administrative personnel are more effective.
Managers have access to more up-to-date information. Decision-making is easier.
Tomorrow’s automated office will clearly include Electronic Mail. But like the rest of the Office of the Future, it’s available at Honeywell today.
For more information, call Laurie Reeves at (800)225-3222/3 (within the 617 area, call 552-2048). Or write him at Honeywell Office Automation Systems, Three Newton Executive Park Drive, Newton Lower falls, Massachusetts 02162.
Honeywell.

Simpsons intro video collection

Some of the best intro videos from The Simpsons.

Even though this isn’t an intro to the show, it was cool anyways

The most useless facts known to man.

“No offense to the French people…[but] hanging a pig in public is just plain dumb!”

20 things I learned from the movies.

1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.

2. All beds have special L-shaped top sheets that reach up to armpit level on a woman but only waist level on the man lying beside her.

3. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

4. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

6. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note – just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

10. If you lose a hand, it will cause the stump of your arm to grow by 15cm.

11. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.

12. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

13. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

14. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

15. All single women have a cat.

16. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

17. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

18. Creepy music coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

19. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cuttings – especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.

~Tx Sarasa

20. When looking for top secret files, they will always be stored in a folder labeled ‘Top Secret’.